Ten non-alcoholic activities for non-alcoholics

*Crash!*
“Oops!” your friend giggles, staring down at the shards of glass on the ground and the cane seeping into the grass. “I dropped the bottle!”
You sigh and take her arm, trying to move her along the street. “It’s ok,” you say. “Come, let’s go home. This way.”
“Ok.” She nods slowly, starting to shuffle along the pavement. “Wait. I don’t feel good” she says suddenly, then covers her mouth with her hand. You know what’s coming. You lead her to a gutter, where she proceeds to regurgitate that evening’s spaghetti bolognaise, along with half of SA Breweries’ alcohol supply. You lean against a wall, and wonder how your awesome night out ended up like this.

Well. While some people think that nights spent slowly poisoning your liver are the best thing since Steers veggie burgers, there are also some that don’t. Contrary to popular belief, not all university students are like this. Yes, unfortunately the large majority could match a rock star glass for glass *fake cough* Captain Morgan *fake cough*. But if you look hard enough, you’ll find people who don’t hop on the beer bus every weekend. This post is for them.

While all the students who have a deep love of fermented sorghum/ grapes/ barley/ wheat go out and crawl back home, the non-alcoholics are left with nothing to do. So I thought I’d come up with some fun non-alcoholic activities to make sure that your social life doesn’t dwindle and die. Here’s my list (feel free to add to it!):

1: Movies: Yes, I know it sounds simple, and it’s sometimes expensive for those with the traditional ‘broke student’ bank balance, but a decent movie with a bunch of awesome people is a fantastic event to attend. Chick flicks, sci-fi, comedy: whatever. Sometimes it’s nice to actually go out and see a movie… I know you’re all going “What? Pay for a movie?” but at least you won’t be distracted by some strange Iranian subtitles.

2: Paintball: Yes, it is painful. You get dirty. And you might have a big blue bruise the next day. But it is wicked fun. Shooting people with little balls of paint? Genius. And guess what? There’s a paintball place in Grahamstown! *All prospective Rhodents fall off their computer chairs in shock*

3. Coffee: Coffee shops are amazing. Especially the kooky ones in G’town, with their crazy décor and arb drinks… on that note, let me tell you the steps to happiness. Step 1: Go to the Red Café. Step 2: Be seated. Step 3: Order a peanut butter / Bar One milkshake. Step 4: Come back here and thank me for changing your life. Dulcé’s ice cream scoops are also fantastic, and not too expensive. Chat and chill with friends on a rainy day/ hot day (take advantage of the aircon).

4: Rrrrroadtrip: Get everyone to chip in for petrol, hijack a car (I mean borrow) and jump in for an amazing adventure. You’ll get lost, you’ll get un-lost, you’ll arrive. Rhodents: PE is just over an hour away. Jbay (Billabong factory shop, people!) is 80kms from that. And if you’re really bored with your lives, you can head over to lil ol’ East London (2hrs drive). Oh, and the beach in summer (Port Alfred: 30mins away).

5: Ice skating/ ten pin bowling / go carting: For you lucky, lucky people who are going to study in cities, not lost and forgotten dorps.

6: Shopping: Also kinda for those blessed with a shopping mall and of the XX chromosome variety. But otherwise, you can spend many a happy Saturday morning strolling down High street. Kisma Kreative (see picture) has some fantastic new ‘upcycled’ stuff. This activity can also be combined with activity number three (see ‘coffee’).

7: Movie night: Ok, I know I was just saying you should all head out to your nearest Ster Kinekor/ Nu Metro / random independent thing (Roxbury), but sometimes TNT plus a bed full of pillows plus friends equals happiness.

8: Picnic: Totally memory-making. We had one last week… we grabbed a bunch of grucky res blankets and food and parked off under the stars on the grass in front of Rhodes’ clock tower. I promised Pink Monkey that she could blog about this, so all I can say is that it involved 20+ naked men, a fire dancer and me almost stealing a car.

9: Games: Now don’t all start thinking “Damn, this girl is really scraping the barrel to get to ten”. 30 seconds rocks my socks. And of course the oh-so-fantastic-reason-the-play station-was-invented Sing star (karaoke+game. Genius). Screa- I mean, sing along to some insipid pop hit. Hilarity ensues. Promise. (Our res has a console, so you can bring your disks from home. Don’t think I’m crazy).

10: Go out: This is Rhodes lingo for going out to a pub/ club. Going to print your sociology assignment at 11pm does not constitute as ‘going out’ just because you left your res/digs. You can go out, just to dance, not to imbibe alcoholic beverages. And when it’s 2am at Friars and the DJ starts playing rock instead of that usual R&B rubbish, and you don’t have to babysit your drunken friend, the world seems wonderful. True story.

P.S. This post is in no way a slight to all the friends I’ve babysat when there was blood in their alcohol stream. I still luv you guys!

Mwa mwa

Meat_is_murder